July 2010

See how lazy I'm getting??!! Can't even write on the specifics anymore, just gets lumped into a monthly summary.

July....was crazy. Completely broke me down, kicked me in the head and then pooped on my shoe lol. Right from the first day, should have just found a basement to hide in.

The 4th, bungee ups and downs. It was Little Man's first. Alan had blocked off the parking lot and the gun club, which put us about 100 yards away from the fireworks launch site. It was awesome having the fireworks blasting right over our heads, and so amazingly close you swear you're gonna get burned. Well Little Man loved it. I was surprised how well he did. Wasn't scared at all from the noise. He was even giggling at the end when they do the grand finally.

Skipping ahead to the middle of the month, headed up to Thunderhill on the 17th for Z2's trackday weekend. I didn't ride on Saturday, just schmoozed and help sell some raffle tickets. Sunday, it was track time. I love Thunderhill. LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! It was a bagillion degrees out, and I reached new levels of disgustingly sweaty and probably smelly, but I had a great time getting there. Kev had me hooked up with a GoPro for every session. Can't wait to see the footage and of course the bad ass video he makes for me.

A few days later I got my haircut, I've been needing it soooo badly. Felt great to have an actual style again. And form there everything went to pure shit. Probably some of the hardest times I've had in a real long time. Got some distraction spending the day at Miss Julia's 3rd birthday party on the 24th and then that evening having a garlic extravaganza since we missed the Garlic Festival.

The last week, bad, bad, bad. I think I slept maybe 4 hours in 3 days. Everything hurt.

The very last day of July, I ran some errands and then headed up to Infineon for the AFM races to meet up with Kevin. Felt like strangers. I don't know what changed in his head, but nothings changed in mine. I don't know if anything will ever be as it used to. Seems like the good times are getting buried under the bad. Day to day there are such extremes. I really am at a loss as to what to do. I see our future, not so sure that he does anymore. In a few months I'll be gone.

Its the morning of August 11th that I am typing this. The day I've been so excited for is about to come. I guess the reality of making that day happen was too much to deal with. Broke my heart in Fernley, and now I just try to not make it such a big deal, but it really was. Oh well now I guess. I thought next year would be a sure thing, but I can't even have that. Maybe that day will never be mine.

I'm grateful that July is over. I'm not sure I could have survived another day. August has been good to me so far. It's been crazy busy, but good. Coming up I may not be getting the weekend I wanted, but I expect it will still be a memorable weekend.